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If You Suspect Abuse



Red Flags of Abuse in Your Own Relationship

Red flags are early warning signs of potential abuse.  Many victims, in hindsight, report that early on in their relationships many of these red flags were visible. 

  • Playing too rough
  • Changing personalities, mood swings
  • Blaming others
  • Extreme jealousy
  • Possessiveness
  • Constantly checking up on you


Questions to Ask Yourself:

Do you…

  • Feel afraid of your partner?
  • Feel that you can’t do anything right?
  • Avoid topics or situations out of fear of angering your partner? 
  • Want to leave your partner but believe there is no help for you?

Does your partner…

  • Act jealous, possessive, or controlling? 
  • Humiliate, criticize, or yell at you? 
  • Unjustly accuse you of cheating? 
  • Keep you from seeing friends and family? 
  • Constantly check up on you? 
  • Threaten to kill or hurt him/herself if you leave?

Warning Signs of Abuse in Others

Victims of domestic abuse often try to hide their injuries and are sometimes unwilling to disclose to others the fact that they are being abused by their partner.  Below is a list of possible warning signs that may indicate that someone you know or love is being abused. 

  • Bruises, cuts or scratches that seem to be unexplained or in various stages of healing
  • Fear of partner: verbalizations, flinching, nervousness
  • Isolation: missing work, social occasions or appointments
  • Makes excuses for partner; defensive
  • Defers to partner to make decisions or to “get permission”


Questions to Ask Someone Who May Be in an Abusive Relationship:

Does your friend or loved one…

  • Receive frequent calls or texts from their partner? 
  • Talk of or hint at being afraid of their partner? 
  • Lack assertiveness, avoid eye contact or exhibit submissive behavior? 
  • Have insufficient resources to live (money, credit cards, car)? 
  • Seem to lack self-care; act depressed, lonely or have low self-esteem?

How to Help Others Who May Be in an Abusive Relationship

Sometimes a survivor of domestic violence or dating violence will seek help from their support network, including friends, family, or co-workers.  The way you respond can have a powerful effect on the survivor’s life and their decision to seek further help.  Remember, you cannot force someone to leave their abuser.  While you can help someone leave an abusive relationship, it is ultimately his/her choice to change his/her life and future.  The decision to leave an abusive relationship is not easy and the survivor will need your love and support to do so, even if they return to the relationship.

If a survivor reaches out to you…

  • Try to remain supportive and non-judgmental. 
  • Let them know you believe them and want to hear about their experience. 
  • Let them know you care about them and are concerned for their safety.
  • Maintain contact with them. Physical and psychological isolation are powerful control tactics used by abusive partners. 
  • Let them know that they are not alone, it is not their fault and that free help is available.
  • Tell them to call 911 if they are in physical danger.
  • In accordance with Texas law, you must call the police if someone discloses to you that a child, senior or disabled person is being harmed.
  • Call Hope’s Door New Beginning Center’s 24-hour hotline (972-276-0057) for information on our free services in English and Spanish. Direct them to our website at hdnbc.org.


Go to next last section (Helpful Links About Abuse)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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